Tag Archives: love

What’s Really Important?!

It has been brought to my attention lately about what constitutes a quality program.  Substance vs. Fluff.  Perception vs. Reality.  As a parent of a child who is looking for a good program in which to put your child, the question is “How do I recognize a quality program?  Because really, you can tell if it’s a bad program easily but it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between good and really good.

In our parent meetings, we tell the parents that having a lot of “stuff” coming home everyday does not mean that the program is meeting that quality marker.  Have you ever been inundated with busy work?  Is it always good?  Just because your child cranks out a bunch of papers or artwork and brings them home doesn’t mean that what was done in the classroom was beneficial to your child.  Just because you can hang their beautiful artwork on the wall or are sent a picture of your child holding a paper flower doesn’t mean that something worth while was happening in the classroom.

When our accreditation agencies and the Early Learning Coalitions come around to check on how our school is doing, over 80% of what they are looking for is interaction with the children.  Teacher/child interaction.

So, here are some things that I believe make a program one of quality.  I welcome you to come and check out our school and see how we measure up.

1.How does the staff greet you?

2.How much communication is going on between teacher and child and child to child.

3.How much exploring of their environment is allowed.

4. When you walk in the child’s classroom do you get a positive feeling about what is happening?

5.Are the teachers friendly with one another?.

6. As the children explore different mediums, (ie. paint, play doh, exploration table) is the child always directed by a teacher or allowed to explore on their own?

7. Do teachers and staff reach out to the parents through different forms of communication?

8. What are the ratios in the classroom?

9. Does the teacher show you that they love your child?

10. Is the administration transparent or are you left to wondering what’s going on?

And most of all…

9. Does the love of Jesus shine through the staff and spill over to the families?

Come by our center and check us out!  I’d love to give you a tour and show you around.

Blessings!

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Boundaries For Kids – Week Two

Here’s the second in the installment of what I learned from my class.

There are 5 obstacles to effective Boundaries:

1. – Depending on the child.  As parents, we have to be careful of “needing” our children to fulfill our unmet needs.  This can cause a lot of problems for the child as they grow.  It can also lead to manipulation by the child, as they learn to get what they want by withholding their ability to meet the parents needs.  Parents need to find ways to have their needs met that don’t include their children if they want to grow healthy children.

2. – Over-identifying with the child.  A parent’s painful feelings are not always the child’s painful feelings.  When a child falls, it might be more traumatizing to the parent than to the child.  A child who doesn’t make the basketball team might not need a parent to talk with the coach.  Failing a test doesn’t mean the parent should intervene and get the teacher to ease up on the child.  Allow the child to determine the level of their need.  If we over-identify with the child, we may not be allowing a child to pick him or herself up after a defeat to move forward.  We may end up creating an adult who can’t handle their own problems.

3. – Thinking love and separateness are enemies.  As parents, we are going to disagree with our children.  It’s a given.  We are not going to like everything they like.  And we are going to have to confront them from time to time about their actions.  Doing this does not mean we don’t love them.  Love is always there no matter the circumstances.  We want to help create children who grow up to be adults who can stand their ground regardless of whether or not the world around them thinks they are wrong.  We want children who can think for themselves not because the parent is right beside them.

4. – Ignoring and zapping – You know how when we bottle up our feelings inside and then after a time we just can’t hold them in and we blow?  This is not a good way to deal with a child.  It ends up being worse than the situation demanded.  Dealing with the issue with your child right then is much better than pushing it back and back and then blowing up.  If we can get a handle on this, we will be raising children who can problem solve.

5. – Being worn down. This is a tough one.  How do we keep ourselves from being worn down, tired, stressed, beaten.  Well, if you figure this out, please let me know.  But somehow we have to find out what works for us because having kids and being worn down don’t go so well together.  Are there certain routines you can put in place that can give you some downtime so that you can be refreshed before dealing with the kids.  Even 15 minutes of resting your eyelids could help you deal with a tantrum.  Or giving the kids a 30 minute playground time before heading home from school might just give you and them the added de-stressor they need before dinner and homework.  Learning to do this and teaching your children to do this will help them as they become adults as they put these practices into their lives.

Happy parenting!  – Mrs. T.

To Spare or Not to Spare, is that a question?

I am trying to read the Bible everyday and today as I was reading Proverbs 13:24 I read, “Whoever spares the rod, hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”  I was sort of pondering on that this morning.  I went and looked in other translations and the majority of them said the same thing, if you don’t use the rod, then you hate your children.  Wow, those are strong words.

In our society people have read that verse to mean that you must spank your children,  the rod equals punishment.  So, as I was thinking about that I dug a little and found that in the Bible the rod was used by those who herded sheep.  Now, they didn’t hit the sheep over the heads with the rod, they used it to gently tap them to go where they wanted them to go,  They led them to the right places, the safe places.  If a sheep got out of the herd, the rod was used to lead it back to the safety of the herd, never to hit it.  Moses had a staff, or rod.  He used it to lead the Hebrews out of slavery.  He held it up high so that the Hebrews could see it and it would guide them as they were leaving Egypt, to go to a better place.

Spare the Rod

Spare the Rod (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Both those examples don’t have anything to do with punishment but with discipline, something our society is woefully lacking.   I have seen so many children that have not been disciplined by parents and so these children are making unsafe decisions with their lives.  In an effort to be a friend to their children they are failing to lead them, to guide them, to keep them safe.

It’s sometimes the easy path to let a child go their own way, somehow thinking that we’ll just be friends and that will work or that they need to make their own decisions and that will help them.  But that is not what the Bible says.  It says, if you spare the rod of discipline then you hate your child.  It says that the one who disciplines their child loves that child.  They really are strong words but I think God has it right.  We would do well to listen to Him.

Have a great day and remember, don’t spare that rod!

Mother’s Day is Dad’s Day too!

Mother's Day card

Mother’s Day card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!  You deserve a wonderful day because what you do each and every day is so amazing and you should be recognized for it.

But this blog today is for all the dads out there.  I have been blessed to have the most amazing man as my husband.  If you meet him you might not recognize how really great a person he is but just let me tell you a little bit about him just in the context of Mother’s Day.

Since the day our children were born every mother’s day that came along was made special by my husband.  My very first mother’s day present I received when our baby was still in the womb.  I got a bouquet of baby’s breath.  That was so amazing to me.  And very special.  And quite a surprise since I wasn’t technically a mom yet, or was I?  Then while the children were very young, I got dinner out, flowers, etc.  When the kids became a little older they started the tradition of bringing me breakfast in bed.  What a treat and so fun to watch their faces when they brought me the food.  When they were older Dad continued to be the instigator behind the surprises that I got and the gifts and special things that were done for me on Mother’s Day.  And at some point, I can’t remember when, my kids started doing something on their own.  But that didn’t stop my husband continuing to do something special as well.  Now, my kids have moved away from home.  Yes, they still remember me on Mother’s Day.  My kids are wonderful.  But, even now, after the kids are gone my husband still makes sure that I have dinner out someplace special and makes a big deal of Mother’s Day.  Let me tell you how much that has meant to me over the years.  Well, it’s a lot, I can tell you.  My husband gets big points for that and it has helped to strengthen our marriage.   In August we’ll celebrate 32 years.  Wow!

I know some of you are saying, but my wife isn’t my mother.  I’ll honor my mother and let the kids do something for their mom.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!!  I’m only saying this because I care.  Dads, don’t go down that path.  If you want happy moms and a great marriage, take a page from my husband’s book and honor your wife on Mother’s Day.  If you do, Mother’s Day will become Dad’s day too!

Happy Mother’s Day!